studiotwentysix2 the art + design of tom davie

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Thought I’d forward this along — a bit of Lawyer humor to get you through the afternoon. I love the second exchange — Lawya’ man said gear, not GEAR! :

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin’ me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin’ laid!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin’ me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.



Wednesday, August 22, 2007


This brainteaser is not as easy as it might first appear. The idea is simple — say the color of the text, not the word as it is written. Go slow, pace yourself, concentrate and focus, because I would be devastated if this teaser destroyed your self-confidence and ruined your day. Programmed by Phillip Miller Eberz.

  • The ColorText Brainteaser
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    Tuesday, August 21, 2007

    Exhibition Review

    The first article reviewing my current exhibition at the Dayton Art Institute was released in Saturday’s Dayton Daily News — it seems that the article was also published by a handful of other regional newspapers.

    I thought they made an interesting choice to have the Religion editor conduct the interview, and to include the story in the Faith / Living section, as opposed to the Entertainment / Arts section. I have yet to decide if this is a good or bad thing. Anyway, check it out.

  • Parishioner Series Article
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    Thursday, August 16, 2007

    One of These Things... Not Like the Others...



    Laser Tag

    Public defacement without the guilt and hassle of actual public defacement — probably still pisses the cops off something awful though. Pretty. Damn. Clever.

  • Laser Graffiti
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    A Modest Proposal

    I’m feeling minimal at the moment, and when I’m minimal, less is more…proper sentence structure be damned.

    Beth Cavener Stichter, sculptor. Investigating psychology and sexual identity through animal and human forms. Emotional and engaging work. She’s good.

  • Beth Cavener Stichter
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    Saturday, August 11, 2007


    I really enjoy these commercials for Wrigley’s Extra chewing gum, directed by TWiN in Sydney. The lead in each commercial is being followed around by funny little animated characters representing the foods they’ve eaten. The 1st commercial is gold; I can’t get enough of the donut guy, especially his ultimate fate.

    Don’t worry, I won’t ruin the suspense for you, but I will say, the more I watched it, the more I giggled.

  • TWiN, Wrigley’s Extra
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    Friday, August 10, 2007


    I was just forwarded this nice collection of old ephemera, advertising and packaging, and thought I would pass it along. It’s a pretty well photographed collection of 350+ images dedicated to back-in-the-day goodness. Enjoy.

  • Back-in-the-day
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    Thursday, August 9, 2007


    Feed Me Cool Shit has a plethora of art and design related links, user updates and interviews with some of the top up-and-comers. The layout is somewhat overwhelming due to the sheer amount of stuff they have decided to put on the homepage, but if you have some time to browse, there is some good work to be found amid the clutter.

  • FMCS
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    Sanna Annukka

    I’ve been meaning to post Annukka’s work for a while now, because I really dig her illustration style. It’s fun, playful, colorful and integrates an interesting use of repetitive shapes and imagery. She has some really inspiring work, and it’s certainly worth a bookmark.

  • Sanna Annukka
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    The Power of Advertising

    Let me start out by saying that I am no fan of typical fast food, as a matter of fact, I find the idea of eating a McDonald’s hamburger just downright nasty. I know that my opinion is in the American minority, and this article from CNN just about confirms it.

    I don’t think many people would doubt the brand influence that many major corporations have, especially when dealing with children. Nonetheless, there were a few items in this piece that I found surprising; for example, here are two points that really stood out to me...

    1. Study author Dr. Tom Robinson said the kids’ perception of taste was “physically altered by the branding.” The Stanford University researcher said it was remarkable how children so young were already so influenced by advertising.

    2. “Advertisers have tried to do exactly what this study is talking about -- to brand younger and younger children, to instill in them an almost obsessional desire for a particular brand-name product,” he said.

    Point number 2 seems like a pretty obvious statement, but the thing that got me was the children involved were between 3 - 5 years old. Something just doesn’t seem right there.

  • McDonald’s loves young children
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    Show Time

    Finally...The work has been delivered to the museum, is currently being installed and the exhibition will open to the public on Saturday. I was so close to missing the deadline with the final painting that I was scared to properly wrap it, for fear the recently applied paint would adhere to the plastic during transport. It’s been a few days now, and I never received the dreaded “Um, one of your paintings was destroyed when we took the packing off” call, so I can only assume everything’s a-okay. The image below contains all the splendiferous details, including the reception and lecture times and dates.

    Here is the museum’s write-up about my work / exhibition:

    Tom Davie’s haunting and evocative images offer an introspective view into the artist’s thoughts on faith, salvation, mortality, and above all, Catholicism. The portraits included in The Parishioner Series are taken from a single edition of the St. Mary’s parish directory in Sandusky, Ohio. “The parishioners are members of the small religious community to which I belonged as a child and young adult, and the 1974 church directory was chosen because it represents the year I was born into this group,” Davie explained. “I have a great deal of respect for this community founded in religion, however, my personal struggles with faith, religious power and mortality prevent me from fully embracing the ideals of my youth.”

    Reflecting the influence of Chuck Close, Andy Warhol, and Francis Bacon, Davie’s powerful images offer their own unique graphic signature. Highly stylized and finely crafted, these meticulously hand-painted works are composed of a complex matrix of dots. Layers of transparent washes applied to the canvas’s surface conceal the subtle and fragmentary textual imagery. “As the concept behind my work has become more focused, the layering and complexity have gradually increased,” stated Davie.

    There is an uncanny family resemblance among the paintings and drawings in The Parishioner Series. This homogeneity is disconcerting, enhanced by the narrative tension created by such titles as Revelation (Mr. Carl and Mrs. Evelyn D. Bing, 1974); He Shall Inherit (Mr. Leander Bertsch, 1974); They were Judged (Mr. Edwin Hiss, 1974); and His Anger was Kindled (Mr. Edwin Hiss, 1974). “To me these individuals represent righteousness and unwavering devotion -- a uniform belief under the same doctrine,” said Davie.

    Tom Davie earned his Master of Fine Arts from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and his Bachelor of Fine Arts from the University of Dayton.

  • The Parishioner Series at The Dayton Art Institute
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