studiotwentysix2 the art + design of tom davie

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Google Search, Part 2

Google Search: “really crappy art”



Don’t worry, I can wait…Take all the time you need…Drink in the soft, sensual, close-knit goodness of this fivesome.

Before I get-on-top-of, or better yet, wrestle with the content of this drawing, I thought I would discuss the technical execution, because honestly, this thing is in dire need of a stiff once-over.

Stiff Observation #1:
Everyone can appreciate the importance of length. Typically when I create a portrait, I make sure that my subject’s neck-length averages between five and seven inches. Through ample research, I found this to be a visually pleasing size (regardless of said neck’s nationality). However, with a simple glance, it’s easy to see that these necks are special, obviously much longer than your typical neck. Each one might be eight, possibly ten inches, which is certainly impressive, but a bit much in my opinion. I hate to be a wet blanket, but an average neck is far superior, it is properly proportioned and more comfortable for both the artist and subject.

Stiff Observation #2:
Most people love nuts — It’s a scientific fact. Big nuts, small nuts, cashews, pistachios, they’re all wonderful. Just because you are a nut-lover though, does not make it acceptable to base your figure’s facial structure on an acorn. As you can see from my helpful illustration below, nuts, while a tasty delicacy, do not adequately resemble a human face. Helpful Hint #1: Keep nuts and faces separated at all times, or your piece will undoubtedly get messy.



Stiff Observation #3
When creating a group portrait, make sure that everyone’s hands can be accounted for — it avoids scandal. DaVinci created a stir in The Last Supper, when he included a dagger in the hand of what appears to be nobody. My point being, if you leave room for interpretation, viewers may actually interpret. In this drawing, I see five guys, nine hands and one wide-eyed gaze with quivering lips slightly agape. This obviously translates into a bit of playful poking between two of the subjects, nothing to worry about. Sorry, I mistakenly overreacted on this point; just ignore #3, my bad.

Other than that, the drawing is great. If you can ignore the line quality, 1 x 2’s for arms (except for the guy on the far left who is sporting the guns of an 80 year-old woman), huge foreheads, bad coloring, bad clothes and crooked mouths. I can’t hate though, cause when hair looks that good, the rest is just details.

The image content:

I am euphoric, ecstatic even, to have found this image, because it reinforces my faith in good old-fashioned male bonding. I was getting tired of looking at the stereotypical depictions of women (as we saw in the first post of this series), with their mountainous breasts, tiny waists and ample midriffs — Insulting! Disgusting! A poor reflection on today’s society!

Artists need to take a stand, and avoid hyper-sexualization and other smutty topics during their creative process! Today’s art should be more wholesome, like this pert fivesome standing at full-mast.

Final Verdict: “Really crappy art”? Please! As if! This art is so uncrappy, that it should have appeared in an “uncrappy art” search. As a matter of fact, I enjoy this image so much that it will have a place of honor near my hope chest, along with some other wholesome favorites.




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